For those of you who haven't yet gone metric, here are some handy conversions:

• 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope


• Time between slipping on a peel and hitting the pavement = 1 bananosecond


• Weight an evangelist carries = 1 billigram


• 1,000 aches = 1 megahurtz


• Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mph = 1 knot-furlong


• Basic unit of laryngitis = the hoarsepower


• 1,000 grams of wet socks = 1 literhosen


• 10 rations=1 decoration